Back in the Saddle: Dating After Divorce
How to date after your divorce. What to consider and what you can forget.
Getting back on the dating scene after a divorce can be both intimidating and exciting. Working with a divorce attorney in Orange County can help you finalize your divorce under the best possible conditions, but what comes next?
The Top Three Rules for Dating After Divorce
A positive attitude and some helpful advice can go a long way toward a smooth transition back into the dating pool. Here are some tips to help you get started with confidence as you meet new people and go on dates.
- Take Your Time
When is the right time to start dating after your divorce? It all depends on your unique mental and emotional state. Only you can decide when you feel ready to date again, and that moment is different for everyone.
Most experts recommend against rushing back into dating. Some of them believe that you’re more likely to have a positive experience if you take the time to recover and reflect after the divorce. Processing your divorce emotionally can prepare you for fulfilling relationships in the future.
You have plenty of time, so make sure you have a genuine desire to meet and date new people before you start doing so. You can even keep things slow as you start to go on dates.
- Learn from Your Previous Relationships
What kind of relationship are you looking for? it’s helpful to have an idea of what you want before you start dating people, and this clarity can help you meet people who are on the same page.
Going through a divorce can grant you some hard-won perspective on what you want out of your future relationships. You likely have a better idea of what kind of partnership you want to have, as well as the kind of role you fill in relationships.
That self-knowledge is extremely helpful in the dating world, and it can help you meet people you’re compatible with. It can be a confidence-booster to trust your instincts as you make decisions on romantic relationships.
- Find Dating Sites that Match Your Needs
The dating scene has changed with the advent of new technology, and modern dating can involve a dizzying number of apps and websites. The good news is that there are so many options available, there’s sure to be something that works with your expectations and desires.
Some apps are associated more closely with traditional dating, while others are fast-paced and geared toward more casual relationships. There are also niche options, where you can try dating people who share your religion, profession, love of travel, or another trait.
Online dating has truly become mainstream, and it can be a great tool for meeting people. It may take time to get used to new apps, but it’s worth the learning curve to get access to such a large part of the dating world.
Bonus: Talk About It With Your Children
As you’re opening yourself up to the exciting world of dating, remember that your children are still processing the divorce in their own way. While it’s important to look after your kids, you shouldn’t feel like you have to sacrifice your happiness for their sake.
Sit them down and talk them through what you’re feeling and why you’ve decided to date again, and give them time to air out their own feelings. Keeping your kids in the loop lets them feel like you’re still there for them and you still value their opinion despite this major life change.
This may be a difficult conversation to have, but by no means should you hide this from your children. After all, you’ll eventually want your new significant other to get along with your kids and vice versa!
Divorce is often painful, but it can also be the start of a fulfilling new chapter in your life. If you’re ready to finalize your divorce and start dating again, an Orange county divorce mediation attorney can help. Contact the offices of Hollie A. Lemkin today.