7 Things to Avoid When Going Through a Divorce

We’ve seen it all! We’ve compiled 7 common things we want to help you avoid.

August 17, 2020

With emotions high, assets at stake, and children on your mind, it’s easy for a divorce to be extremely stressful. Additionally, it can be extremely complex when the reason behind the divorce is awful where you may need the help of an Orange County domestic violence lawyer.

When you’re not working with an Orange County divorce attorney, that stress is only compounded. While your attorney will handle filing paperwork, representing you in court, and dealing with legal issues, you still need to do your part.

In fact, one of the most significant roles you can play is not doing anything to make matters worse.

Here are some things to avoid when you’re going through a divorce:

  • Fighting Dirty

It might seem challenging to stay composed and not take cheap shots at your soon-to-be ex, especially if they aren’t holding back. Divorces can quickly turn ugly ordeals full of anger, jealousy, and immature attacks.

Your divorce lawyer will encourage you to keep things civil, stay on the high road, and work towards moving on.

Keep in mind that you were once in love with the other person — even if things have changed, there are most likely some semblance of good left in your ex. Even though the two of you are no longer getting along, you owe it to yourself to keep things clean and civil.

  • Not Understanding Finances

Part of your divorce can include turning over a copy of all of your finances to the court, as well as your ex. This is not the time to play hide-and-seek. Therefore, it is important to be sure that you are aware of your financial situation, especially if your ex was in charge of keeping track of everything concerning your money.

The court can use your financial records to determine things like alimony or child support payments and being dishonest can cause significant trouble down the line. If you’re not sure what’s relevant, make sure to consult with your Orange County divorce attorney for guidance.

  • Showing Off a New Relationship

It can sometimes take years before a divorce is finalized. It’s possible that you’ll meet someone new or start a new relationship. In some cases, a new relationship might be one of the causes of divorce. Regardless, it’s crucial that you don’t flaunt your latest love interest in front of your ex.

It might be tempting to show off that you’re in a new relationship. A new partner could be a form of revenge or just a sign that you’re capable of attracting a new mate. Ultimately, flaunting a new relationship can damage your credibility and cause your ex to be more aggressive in court to get back on you.

You may also want to be careful about dating during the trial. Nothing’s worse than having your rebound partner testify against you. If you thought having one ex coming after your is terrible, try having two exes out for blood.

  • Posting About Your Ex on Social Media

Some people post on social media to find support while others just want attention. It’s easy to go online and overshare about your ex and throw insults or even exaggerate. These comments can come back and haunt you during the divorce trial. The opposing side’s attorney will have a field day during cross-examination.

On the same token, it’s wise not to overshare about anything. Avoid posting comments, article links, or anything else that could damage your credibility. In most cases, it’s wise to set all of your social media accounts to private and unfollow, defriend, and even block your ex, their friends, and their family.

A strict no contact rule can not only help with the breakup but will rob the opposing lawyer from having fodder to use against you in court.

  • Insist That Court is The Only Way

It’s common for people going through a divorce to demand a day in court simply out of principle. There are certainly times when going to court is the best way to ensure that your divorce proceeds fairly. It’s also possible that the divorce can be amicably settled in mediation as opposed to in front of a judge.

Divorce attorneys are often experts at negotiation and can work in a mediation setting just as well as in a courtroom. Going this route can save you tons of money, time, and stress. Trials can be unpredictable, rushed, and very expensive.

  • Sticking Around if There is Abuse

Orange County domestic violence attorneys know that some spouses are actually afraid to start the divorce proceedings when domestic abuse is involved. Sometimes that fear is of the change that will come from speaking up and moving on.

In more serious cases, it’s a fear of further abuse or even death. There is no reason to stick around and allow yourself to be in a dangerous situation. It is wise to reach out to an Orange County domestic violence attorney to learn about your options to make a clean break. If you are in significant danger, call the police.

Even if you’ve escaped the abusive situation, it’s easy for one partner to intimidate the other. That means unfair negotiations during the trial. Your Orange County domestic violence attorney will help overcome being bullied and get you a better and safer result.

  • Trying to Represent Yourself

There’s a good reason for hiring a family court and Orange County divorce lawyers when it comes to providing a fresh set of eyes on an emotionally charged situation because you’re never going to be as objective as you think you’ll be.

Divorce lawyers know the ins and outs of the law — what can be used as evidence, your rights during the trial, and how to effectively present your case. Even if you read a variety of blogs or talk to friends with experience, you’ll never fully be prepared for what can happen during a divorce. Your attorney will ensure that paperwork is filed correctly and on time.

Make Wise Decisions When Going Through a Divorce

Your divorce will involve dividing assets, determining if either spouse is owed anything, child custody arrangements, support payments, and more.

This isn’t a time for personal emotions to cloud the end result. More importantly, you don’t want to be in a situation where your partner has representation, and you’re on your own. The odds will never be in your favor in this circumstance.

Therefore, it is a wise decision to seek help from an Orange County divorce attorney and know where you stand during your divorce’s legal proceedings.

Call today to speak with Hollie A. Lemkin to discuss your questions & issues!


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