No couple gets married with the intention of getting divorced someday. Your Orange County divorce attorney takes no joy in getting your business. Instead, they thrive on helping couples move on from a bad situation while protecting the rights of their clients.
The reality is that things can happen where a divorce may be the best step for the couple to lead happy lives. Divorce isn’t pretty, but it’s sometimes necessary for the greater good.
It’s no easy choice to decide that your marriage is over. Many couples go through ups and downs that don’t always point to ending the relationship. When that relationship seems to have lost all of its love, it might be time to contact an Orange County divorce attorney to start moving on.
Realize That Marriage Is Tough
It’s an understatement to suggest that relationships aren’t always easy. Those initial heart palpitations and butterflies may feel like they’ll last forever, but the honeymoon does come to an end.
Studies show that nearly half of all marriages at least consider divorce at some time in their relationship. This is normal, as stress and conflict leave people wondering what they can do.
Before jumping straight to throwing around the D-word, it may be worth working on the issues you experience with your partner. There are various couples’ retreats, marriage counselors, self-help books, and more that might help bring back that honeymoon feeling. Of course, a weekend seminar may not be able to erase years of misunderstandings and to grow apart.
Obvious Signs That It’s Over
While there are some subtle signs that it might be time to consider a divorce, there are some items that should lead directly to this possibility. It’s not to say that there’s no chance for redemption, forgiveness, or atonement, but some things can’t simply be overlooked.
For example, if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you may need to take steps to protect yourself and your children.
Outside of an immediate fear of harm, to which you should call 911 right away, your first step is to contact an Orange County domestic violence lawyer. This professional can help you assess your situation, know your rights, and come up with a plan to stay safe. When your life or the lives of your children are on the line, there’s no room to simply hope and pray. Infidelity is another area where getting a divorce may be imminent.
Signs To Look For
Outside of the obvious signs that a relationship is going in the wrong direction, there are some subtle clues that are worth examining. These may not all be enough to lead straight to an Orange County divorce attorney, but they are enough to justify stopping to think for a minute.
Self-Doubt Sets In
If you are no longer a priority to your partner, it can lead to prolonged periods of self-doubt. What’s even worse is when your partner goes from not making you a priority to actually devaluing you together.
Being made to feel like your thoughts, feelings, wants, and desires aren’t important or even valuable can take its toll. It’s easy to then redirect this self-doubt into your work, at your family and friends, or even into your own life.
Marriage has to involve some elements of compromise. If one person no longer values the other person’s feelings, it could be an indication that they are no longer committed to the relationship.
The Effort Stops
Marriage is meant to be a partnership. While it’s likely that some takes and challenges will fall to one of the spouses, a successful relationship can rely on one person dealing with every difficulty. If you find yourself feeling like your partner doesn’t contribute to the relationship, it’s time for a hard look at your situation.
On the flip side of things, you might start to feel like your relationship isn’t worth your effort. This could be a sign of pent-up resentment and that you’re not interested in solving your problems.
Regardless of which person stops putting in the effort, the relationship can’t last with only one person doing all of the work. Some people stop trying because they don’t think they are the problem and want to blame the other person. This is another red flag. There’s never going to be a positive outcome when a spouse can’t acknowledge their faults or put in the effort to make things better.
There’s No More Talking
Every marriage depends heavily on communication for its survival. From planning meals to making sure the kids get to school, communication is one of the most important elements of any marriage. So what happens when all of that communication stops?
Keep in mind that real communication is more than just sharing logistics, sending text updates, or sharing a brief exchange on the way to work. Healthy communication is when both parties actively listen to each other to understand each other’s needs and wants.
When someone isn’t listening, it shows that they don’t value the other person’s thoughts and feelings. When someone stops sharing, it shows that they either don’t feel heard or have just decided to stop putting in the effort.
Loss of Intimacy
Every couple goes through times of feast and times of famine when it comes to intimacy. Intimacy is more than just sex; it relates to deep conversations, shared moments, as well as physical affection. Getting out of the usual routine isn’t necessarily a cause for alarm.
When intimacy starts to disappear without any hope, plan, or discussion of it coming back, that could be a bad sign. A lack of intimacy doesn’t always mean there is an affair going on or that you need to call an Orange County domestic violence lawyer, but it could point to a bigger sign of someone giving up.
Help Is Just a Phone Call Away
Contrary to popular belief, reaching out to an Orange County divorce attorney is not the start of the end of your marriage. Sometimes it’s a good idea just to understand your rights and your options if your marriage is starting to seem off. More importantly, you never want to take the chance that your partner is already talking to a divorce lawyer and making plans to take advantage of your situation.
The team at Lemkin Law believes in helping our clients find their best possible outcome. That outcome doesn’t always mean divorce, but we’re ready to help you through and process, and fight for you every step of the way. Give us a call to learn more about your rights and options today.